W.C. Fields

 

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.  

 

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting?

 W.C. Fields